BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME...I LOVE...BECAUSE YOU SPEAK TO ME...I LOVE

I HAVE FELT YOUR HOLY SPIRIT FLY WITHIN MY HEART AND COO THE SOFT MURMURING SOUND OF LOVE...THE SOUND OF GRACE AND PEACE AND REST.
HOW CAN I NOT LOVE YOU, MY LOVE

YOUR LOVE HAS COME TO REACH OUT TO ALL WHO WILL TO LOVE
YOUR LOVE HAS COME TO LIFT THE BROKEN OF BODY, MIND AND SPIRIT...

I HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN OF SO MUCH...AND YOUR LOVE'S MERCY REACHES OUT TO ME EVERY MOMENT OF MY LIFE...FORGIVING, FORGETTING, SUSTAINING, PREPARING, STRENGTHENING, KEEPING...ALL AND MORE IN THE POWER OF YOUR LOVE.

I CAN DO NOTHING BUT LOVE YOU...FOR YOU HAVE DRAWN ME TO YOUR BOSOM AND I FEEL YOUR LOVE PERMEATE MY VERY BEING...

I AM YOURS, AND YOU ARE MINE...MY LOVE... IT IS FOR THIS REASON THAT I MUST LOVE OR DIE.
LORD, WHEN I FEEL LIKE I DON'T LOVE...I DIE...I DIE
HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL FOR DOUBTING YOUR LOVE IN ME, FOR LOOKING TO MYSELF TO GIVE LOVE...
I AM LOST WITHOUT YOUR LOVE...AND WHEN YOU DRAW ME NEAR, GENTLY CALLING MY NAME, I CAN DO NOTHING BUT COME...FOR MY SOUL KNOWS YOUR LOVE...IT HAS DELIVERED ME FROM THE POWER OF SIN AND DEATH...IT COMFORTS MY SOUL AND BRINGS JOY UNSPEAKABLE AND FULL OF GLORY...

THANK YOU FOR THE PAIN OF NOT KNOWING OR UNDERSTANDING...FOR IT HAS PRESSED ME INTO YOUR ARMS AGAIN...

FORGIVE ME, FORGIVE ME ..LOVER OF MY SOUL, MY BELOVED ONE...MY GOD

~Joy~

Lord...when I read verses like these I am completely set back. I think of the those who came out of Egypt and couldn't approach or touch the Mt. of God lest they die...how no one but the high priest could enter the Holy of Hollies...

I come to you myself and confess that I am guilty of not realizing the seriousness of approaching a Holy God...How I'm sure I come with the corruption of my daily living, not coming clean before you in reverence and fear.

How do I say thank you for the shed blood of your Son, which cleanses me of all unrighteousness? How do I say thank you for the work of forgiveness, for your patience, for your undying love. Is it possible for even my praise to come before you untarnished by my wayward thoughts...by my lack of understanding and and outright apathy...? I confess being unenthusiastic and pathetically indifferent at times...half hearted and leaning toward being dangerously lukewarm...

You see all that is going on in my life...I will not use one thing for an excuse to be or feel the way I do...I simply come before you, just as I am and bow my head in shame and surrender. Thou art a consuming fire...consume all that offends you my Lord...this is my earnest prayer...

YOU'RE MY BELOVED

You're my Beloved

you're my Bride

To sing over you is my delight

Come away with me, my Love

Under my mercy

come and wait

until we are standing face to face

I see no stain on you, my child

You're beautiful to me

so beautiful to me

I sing over you my song of peace

Cast all of your care down at my feet

Come and find your Rest in Me

I'll breathe My Life inside of you

I'll bear you up on eagle's wings

and hide you in the shadow of my strength.

I'll take you to my quiet place,

I'll restore your soul

Come rest in me and be made whole.

You're my Beloved

You're my Bride

to sing over you is my delight

Come away with me, my Love

By Kari Jobe__Gateway Worship

Allelujah, allelujah, allelujah to THE great Lord GOD JEHOVAH, YAHWEY...from everlasting to everlasting...You are the ONLY TRUE GOD...the eternal, imortal, invisible God...You oh Lord Jehovah are the ONLY ONE TRUE GOD...Above all, ALL POWERFUL...Majestic, HOLY GOD...and to your Beloved Son, Yeshua Jesus Christ, be all praise, honor and glory to his Holy name...Lord God almighty, be worshiped and glorified for all eternity.

BEARING THE IMPRINT OF IT'S ORIGIN

Lord, is there a vibration in my heart that only you can hear?

That distinct cry of a child that a mother runs to.

There is a welling up in me, that can't be expressed in words, groanings from deep inner space...melodious discords of longing and searching.

Shall I find that right note,

that note filled with power that will fill all my being with songs of knowing praise?

Lord, accept these songs of my heart...fill the sanctuary of my being...Your temple with praises of Spirit Truth.

My inner man worships you Lord...

Most Holy God.

Oh present moment

Devine Ambassador

Declaring the will of God

Full of Glory!

Full of Joy!

Expect nothing beyond it

You'll lack nothing

Be satisfied

with my all sufficiant grace

Oh heart

Accept with abandonment

ever advancing

never halting

in winds of providence

Life's infinite voyage

Oh adorable moment.... SET YOUR MIND LIKE A COMPASS

spread with veils....YOUR EYES FIXED AND FIRM

holy in Your manifestation.... UNWAVERED IN MY PRESENCE

though shadows fall.... DO NOT TRY TO TURN

with utter devastation displayed.... NEITHER RIGHT NOR LEFT

I AM reigns!....STEP BY STEP

with secret and divine wisdom.... ALONG THE NARROW WAY

in every passing moment.... I AM THE "NORTH STAR"

My ceaseless increase.... I'LL GUIDE YOU ALL THE WAY

most excellent,

bears the imprint of divine origin........ JEL

LORD, YOU HAVE SHOWN US THAT OUR LIVES ARE LIKE THE BLOOMING OF A ROSE...ONE PETAL AT A TIME.

EACH PETAL IS TIGHTLY WOUND AROUND THE NEXT IN PERFECT SYMMETRY. ONLY YOU, MASTER CREATOR, HAVE SET THE ORBIT OF IT'S UNFOLDING, AND ARE WORTHY OF THE OPEN FACE OF IT...YET YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO SHARE IT'S BEAUTY AS A TESTIMONY OF WHO YOU ARE.

ONE PETAL AT A TIME

THROUGH SUNSHINE AND THROUGH RAIN

ONE PETAL AT A TIME

TO GLORIFY YOUR NAME

TILL BUDDED FLOWER BE BLOOM

AND SENDS OFF SWEET PERFUME

ONE PETAL AT A TIME

MY HEART'S ONE SONG REFRAIN.................jOY Lackey

LORD, ONCE AGAIN I HAVE COME TO THE PLACE IN THE DARK WHERE ALL I CAN SEE IS MY FEET...I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM OR WHERE I'M GOING...I AM COMPLETELY POWERLESS TO EFFECT ONE THING IN MY LIFE. I'M ASHAMED THAT I'VE ENDED UP HERE AGAIN...AND I'M AFRAID.

YOU HAVE LED ME THUS FAR...AND NEVER FAILED ME...BUT MY HEART IS SICK, BECAUSE I LONG TO BE GROWN UP ENOUGH TO LEAD OTHERS IN YOUR WAY...I LONG TO SEE THEM DELIVERED AND SET FREE...

I HAVE NO MIGHT...I HAVE NO POWER...I KNOW IN MY HEAD WHERE IT COMES FROM...HOLY SPIRIT GRIEVE NOT AT MY LACK OF FAITH AND UNBELIEF...HELP ME LORD WITH MY UNBELIEF.

MY ONE CONSOLATION IS THAT NO MATTER WHAT A FAILIURE I AM, AND NO MATTER WHAT I THINK OR FEEL...YOU "WILL" FINISH EVERY WORK YOU START...IN ME, IN THOSE I LOVE, AND IN THE WORLD...BE GLORIFIED, AND HONORED AND PRAISED...BLESSED IS YOUR NAME ABOVE EVERY NAME. IN YOU IS POWER AND STRENGTH AND SALVATION...IN YOU ALONE.

A NEW DAY

Lord...here it is another week has gone by...I can hardly keep up anymore.

One day just seems to run into the other.

That's the way the minutes go by for me...one thought of you to the next. I never feel alone, but I long to look upon your face more and more.

Help me to be more aware of the "New Day" in you...to perceive you as the rising sun that gives joy and blessing and hope.

That fills my heart with reason to rejoice in gladness and thanksgiving.

The nations rage...the earth is heaving from within...the oceans are breaking beyond their boundaries...and the souls of men run to and fro in fear and confusion...

I am so blessed to run to you for shelter from the storms of life...let me sit at your feet and share your interceding heart for this lost and dying world. Teach me of your compassion, your patience and forgiveness...

Teach me to stand firm against that which is pure evil and at war with you Lord...Give me knowledge, and wisdom that does not compromise your truth...Keep me in the narrow way.

Lord, give me a sound mind, a mind and spirit that is calm, at peace, and resting in the faith and confidence that, "ALL IS WELL" in You. This is the rest that the world cannot give, and it cannot be obtained through my own reasoning, reading, or seeking answers from man.

Thank you for the Holy Spirit that councils, comforts, and guides...thank you for the joy that fills my heart... the hope, the wonder, the revelation of who you are...all this and more rushes like a mighty river from the dawning of the new day...

I give you praise and honor and glory...I bow before you, magnifying your name which is above all names...in heaven and in earth

.

Thank you for this new day Lord. Blessed be your name.

HIS INEXPRESSIBLE PRESENCE

Lord...You have brought me to a place where you are utterly inexpressible. I have spent my whole Christian life trying and longing to share you according to how I perceive you, with my own understanding, my own feelings, my own set of values and convictions...

I thought that I was walking in the way you had chosen for me...walking in your Spirit...

Until now...

How could I possibly think to express what is Your Devine Spirit, out of my own spirit? To manifest your Devine nature out of my carnal nature?

There were times when my spirit rose into the blinding Light of your glory...but now I see that the Light only obscured the open vision and I was left to interpret it by my own understanding and perceptions.

"Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, neither has it entered into the heart of man, the things that you have prepared for us my Lord."

In my heart there is such a longing for the knowledge of you, your will and purpose...for me...your church...your bride.

From the time I became your own...I've desired to express through my life, my faith, and my testimony in service and love...to tell how you have replaced my fears and doubts with faith, hope, and confidence in your Word. How you have given me joy that the world never gives, in place of deep sorrow and despair.

Yes Lord...I have tried to express the inexpressible..and now I can do nothing but fall before you and confess my ignorant zeal...my proselytizing in my own spirit...

Oh Lord forgive me...do whatever it takes to empty me out of dead works...fill me with your Spirit Word that brings, joy, comfort, peace, deliverance, and healing and the very Life of Your Salvation to the hearer...

Work in me Lord, even according to Your Spirit Word, in proclaiming your inexpressible Presence.

I STILL LOVE YOU SO

Lord...dare I speak your name? Dare I ?

All that I am betrays your Holiness

my eyes, my ears, my tongue

my thoughts, my will betrays

Lord...give me back the heart of my childhood

the eyes, the ears, the tongue of truth

where innocence was mine

through tender youth

Give back the joy of love to me

when it was all about you

and not about me

My first love, as your child in arms

Your Word made flesh

Your Word that charms

My spirit's tongue, did taste the wine

while at your table, I did dine

Songs of worship, songs of praise

songs I sang throughout the days

My eyes were fixed on none but You

My ears...your voice was all I knew

I longed to please your perfect will

My Lord, my God, I long so still

Your established law, which long before

the waves washed up on virgin shore

was set to keep a child like me

and give me faith, that I might see

Now that time has took it's toll

and all my doubts like billows roll

Your child again, I long to be

Where once I sat upon your knee

I heard you, clearly, lovingly say,

"I am the One and Only Way."

and I was so in love with You

and all you said, I knew was true

Now once again, before I die

and with this one and final sigh

I speak your name, that all may know

that I your child, still loves you so

................"JESUS"................................by Joy Lackey Sept. 2009

AUTUMN'S ART GALLERY

Fall, the grandest

season of all !

Vivid colors from

the Master's palette

Living pictures of

technicolor and

stereophonic sound

Pungent and awesome,

subtle and soothing

Nature's artistry

the world it's gallery

A one man show

that shouldn't be missed

A seasonal spectacular

of glorious sights, smells and tastes

A bounty of fruits from the harvest

sculptures made without hands

What a splendid display!

LORD...HOW SAFE

I FEEL IN YOUR

EMBRACE.

SHELTERED IN

THE ROBES OF

YOUR

RIGHTEOUSNESS.

IT IS ALWAYS

A QUIET, PEACEABLE

PLACE THERE.

WITH A STILLNESS, WHERE

I CAN COME TO KNOW YOU.

YOU ARE THE SATISFYING PORTION OF MY

LIFE...

THE LIGHT OF YOUR BEING, FLOODS

ME WITH GREAT JOY.

YOU ARE AS THE RISING SUN TO ME

THE LATTER RAIN.

MY UNFOLDING

MY INCREASE...

IN THE SHELTER OF YOUR LOVE.

JEL. Sept. 20, 2009

I MADE GOD SMILE !

COMMON ?

One small stone
from the beach of life.
Rolled from the depths
of tempestuous strife.

One common crystalline,
opaque and undone.
held in God's hand,
held up to the sun.

One tiny treasure,
it's worth a mystery.
But it made God smile
when he looked upon me.

THE LIGHT IN DARK PLACES

LORD...THANK YOU FOR TODAY'S OBJECT LESSON...

I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF IT AS ONE UNTIL JUST A FEW MOMENTS AGO...

AND OF COARSE, AT A TIME WHEN IT'S QUIET...NO TV...HUBBIES IN BED, AND I CAN FEEL ALONE WITH YOU...

SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS TAKING THE DOG OUT...

SHE HATES THE RAIN...THE WET GRASS...

STRANGE...HUBIE BROUGHT ME A FLASH LIGHT...

I'VE BEEN WALKING ANNIE FOR HOW LONG?

BUT TONIGHT HE THINKS I NEED A FLASH LIGHT...

OK.....

OPENED THE GARAGE DOOR AND OFF WE WENT...

BACK IN A FLASH...

DOWN WITH THE GARAGE DOOR...

LAID THE FLASH LIGHT DOWN TO WIPE ANNIE'S FEET...

LIGHTS OUT!...PITCH BLACK!

COULDN'T SEE ANYTHING...

PANIC...WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHT?

DID SOMEONE GET IN WHILE I WALKED ANNIE...

I COULDN'T MOVE...

AFRAID TO FEEL MY WAY...SOMEONE MIGHT BE THERE IN THE DARK...

"STEP FORWARD...YOU CAN SEE." (THAT STILL SMALL VOICE COMMANDED)

I CLOSED MY EYES IN THE DARK...REACHED OUT AND

SLOWLY FELT MY WAY ACCORDING TO AN INNER LIGHT,

LIGHT THAT ONLY FAITH CAN SEE...

LIGHT THAT FAITH CAN MOVE IN...

I CAN'T BELIEVE, THAT I DIDN'T EVEN THINK TO TURN AROUND

AND FEEL FOR THE FLASH LIGHT THAT WAS RIGHT

THERE ON THE SHELF BESIDE ME...

I CAN JUST HEAR ONE OF MY GRAND-CHILDREN SAYING, "DUUUUUH"

THE FEAR REMAINED MY COMPANION,

UNTIL I FOUND MY WAY TO THE LIGHT SWITCH...

BUT I "HEARD YOUR VOICE LORD"...

I TRUSTED YOUR LOVE, AND IT CAST OUT FEAR...

LORD...NEVER STOP TEACHING ME

I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN..STRENGTHEN MY FAITH

HELP MY UNBELEIF...I'M NOT A CHILD...WHO HAS TO FEAR THE DARK.

YOU ARE THE LIGHT IN MY DARK PLACES .

I NEED NOT FEAR EVIL.

YOU WILL WALK WITH ME AND LEAD ME THROUGH...

LORD..THIS WORD PRICKED MY OWN HEART TODAY.

I HAVE FELT MY HEART BEGIN TO HARDEN...AND IT PRESSES OUT THE OIL OF GLADNESS IN MY SOUL...

IT IS A BURDEN I CANNOT CARRY BY MYSELF...HELP MY UNBELIEF.

PUT A NEW SONG IN MY HEART, SO THAT I CAN PRAISE YOU WITH GLADNESS AND THANKSGIVING...SO THAT I CAN TELL OF YOUR WONDERFUL MERCIES...WITH SONGS OF DELIVERANCE...

YOU SEE MY HEART...YOU KNOW WHY MY HEART IS SO HEAVY...

LEAD ME TO THE PATH OF THE LIVING ONES...RENEW MY STRENGTH OH LORD...

I AM FILLED WITH SORROW AND SHAME, AT THE STATE I AM IN...

I WILL WAIT, AND GIVE YOU A SACRIFICE OF PRAISE...

I SURRENDER ALL MY FEARS AND DOUBTS TO YOU...I COMMIT ALL THOSE THINGS I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER...TO YOU...

LEAD ME TO THE ROCK THAT IS HIGHER THAN I...SO THAT I MAY BEHOLD THE WORK OF YOUR HANDS, FROM ALPHA TO OMEGA, AND GLORIFY YOUR NAME WITH FIRM FAITH AND CONSOLATION...

RELEASE ME FROM THIS GRIP OF DEATH...YOU ALONE ARE MY HOPE AND SALVATION...

HEAR MY HEART'S CRY LORD...I CANNOT BREATHE WITHOUT YOU.

BREATHE ON ME HOLY SPIRIT!

Blessed Holy Spirit, because of you we are comforted and confident in our spirits that we need not fear.

You make known the "Beloved of our souls" that we may trust in Him and take delight in Him.

You fill us with faith that believes, by revealing Christ in us...and it is this faith that fears not...for His love casts out all fear.

It is Love that abides in us...Love that is not contrary, condemning or untrustworthy...it is not accusing or belittling...

this One who became obedient unto death and loved us more than His own glory...

Because of Love...not as the world knows love...but because of His unmerited love...I have peace of mind...rest from worldly expectations, and especially those that I have been relentless in demanding from myself, only to fail again and again...

My mind is sound in Him...it is at rest...it has found trust in what He desires for my life and from me...

Faith...Hope...and Love

Thank you Holy Spirit for revealing His Love.

Thank you for letting me walk in You, and the Word that ever guides the Way, the Truth and the Life before me................Breathe on me Holy Spirit!

Lord...as I look from the inside out...You reveal yourself from the inside out of me.

You are the one abiding presence of my life....my daily bread.

Your very Word speaks in me...encouraging me in all my ways.

I'm lost without you Lord.

Thank you...Praise you!...for your Holy presence living in me.

May I never keep your Love Gifts to myself...Let me see the needs of others, and share with them all that you have given to me...pressed down and running over.

As I look out at a world that is desperate for you...more than ever let me share your heart, and pray the prayer of interceding...with groanings that cannot be uttered...yes, the groanings of Holy Spirit...the groan of eternal Love saying,

"Come walk with me, talk with me, let us reason together...let Me tell you of Life and Love and Joy unspeakable and full of glory!"...

Let Love abide.

SURPRISE !

LORD...My heart is so full this morning...you are so wonderful to know my heart...to let me know that you love me...and to always surprise me in Birthday Party ways!



I needed so badly for someone to just say, "I love you...you're special to me." Twice I had called my only daughter to tell her I loved her, and before I could say it...she asked me to forgive her because she was so busy, and that she would call right back...and she didn't.




I was grieving over this, this morning...hadn't even gotten dressed...didn't want to face another day without some kind of one on one with someone....Yep...the same ol pity party that I've been to before.



Lord, forgive me...again... I've looked beyond your ever-present love, and in my way said it wasn't enough...Oh Lord...it is enough...You are my one desire above all else...


The door bell rang...the dog barked uncontrollably...I'm hopping about trying to get my cloths on....thinking, "who could that possibly be, this early in the morning?""Just a minute please" I hollered.....Opening the door....there stood my lovely daughter, with a bed tray...flowers (scarlet violets) Hot organic coffee, in a silver carafe, pastries, and fresh cut fruit pieces...



"Hi Mom...I wanted to serve you breakfast in bed this morning."...It makes me cry to think of it even now...but even more...that sunshine bright smile that is perpetually hers...even when her heart is breaking...She is and has been one of God's priceless gifts to me....Tawni Rae....named after her daddy...(Leaping deer, sunshine)....You could write a book about her life, and Father God's Grace Covenant with her...I was speachless...blessed beyond measure...and ashamed at the same time...It was like a surprise birthday party...she made me feel so special...a vacation at an Old English cottage...tea and crumpets...a french garden...all the above...



She was used to teach me a life long lesson...and to surrender my needs to the realization that...always...the Lord is by my side...my One Great Love. And that Love will come...fellowship will come...if by faith I trust in life's wondrous surprises......THANK YOU LORD.

One of the most challenging things for me as a Christian...is to not give in to Satan's accusations.

Always...always is he ever there to discredit, discourage or try to make me believe that my God dis- approves of what I do or say for Him.

If the enemy of our souls can convince us that we are non effective...faithless...powerless.....pretenders. Then he will have effectively cut off our faith and confidence in the "Life Source" and "Life Force" of our spiritual being. It will stifle and neutralize the witness of our testimony...and the power that is in the Word that is spoken through us.

"Today! I choose! to believe in the keeping power of God's Spirit Word. By his promise...by his shed

blood...by His faith...I am his. I am bought and paid for...and willingly his servant...in what he would have me say... in word or tongue...in deed and truth.

THE APPLE OF HIS EYE

Lord...You are the brightness of the Father's glory...

"The Bright and Morning Star"

The express image of His person...

upholding all things by your power.

The power of Your Word is might...

It has purged me from my sins...

You sit at the right hand of the Father...

Interceding for all men.

"Begotten Son"...yes!...and first to be...

inheriting His name...

Worshiped by His angels...

His ministers of fiery flame.

The earth and heavens declare your glory...

In the beginning they were made...

the works of your hands only...

their foundations you have laid.

Lord...now in these last days, speak forth...

in the same Word of power and might...

let the glory of Your presence in me...

declare before men...in their sight...

That we are the works of your hands, my Lord...

Oh let us take earnest heed...

for we are your heirs of salvation...

the "first fruits" of your own seed.

The worlds and the heavens will pass away...

in this I am happy and blessed...

that you are "The Word" that dwells in me...

In You I will find Spirit's Rest.

Yesterday...today and forever...

in You I'm delivered from death.

Not the laying down of this body...

but the promise of eternal Rest.

The promise of my spirit's new life...

Delivered from every trial...

delivered from every strife.

"Blessed High Priest" of my calling...

help me hold steadfast within...

my confidence and my yearning...

till that day when I enter in...

through gates of Heaven's homeland...

where my mansion waits on high...

to cloth this spirit's body...

"The apple of Your eye."

DON'T LET YOUR HEART BE GRIEVED TODAY

GRACE COVENANT

Lord...All that I say...and all that I do...let it be through your covenant of grace to me.

Make all grace abound...so that all things at all times, will provide all that I need to abound in every good work.

You, yourself, have called me by grace...you restore my soul daily...you keep me as the apple of your eye...you make me strong, firm and steadfast...more than a conqueror...

You have declared unto me, "My grace is sufficient for you...my power is made perfect in your weakness."

Lord... let your power rest upon me by your grace...that I may shine the Light of your Truth in a dark and perishing generation...

This is my prayer...that your love will abound unto me more and more in knowledge of your wisdom, which rules in all righteousness from generation to generation in those who live to please you Lord...in faith, goodness, self-control, perseverance, and godliness...not as a work of the flesh...but the direct result of your Holy Spirit Word abiding in us by faith in your ALL SUFFICIENT GRACE COVENANT.

IS YOUR SADDLE ON THE FENCE POST?

WHEN I WAS 17 AND FEARLESS..... CARELESS AND INEXPERIENCED IS MORE LIKE IT..... DOWN RIGHT DISOBEDIENT TO THE TRUTH.....

I WAS ASKED TO STAY WITH A GIRL FRIEND FOR THE WEEKEND ON THEIR HORSE RANCH...

I HAD NEVER RIDDEN A HORSE IN MY LIFE.....

NOW THAT I LOOK BACK, SOME OF MY MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS WERE LEARNED FROM EXPERIENCES WITH HORSES.

WE BOTH WANTED TO SPEND THE DAY RIDING. I HAD BEEN ASKED IF I KNEW HOW TO RIDE.... (OH YES, WE CAN ADD THAT TO THE LIST....I LIED SO I COULD RIDE).

WE WERE GIVEN SPECIFIC RULES TO FOLLOW IN REGARD TO RIDING THE HORSES.

FIRST THOUGH I WAS TO HELP MY FRIEND DO HER CHORES BEFORE WE COULD START THE DAY DOING WHAT WE WANTED TO DO.

WELL DOING CHORES OF COARSE WOULD STEAL TIME AND SPOIL OUR FUN. SO WE DECIDED TO DO CHORES AFTER WE RODE.

WE WERE TOLD TO USE THE SADDLES ON THE FENCE... I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE, OF COARSE, ABOUT HOW TO SADDLE A HORSE.

TO COVER MY IGNORANCE I SUGGESTED WE RIDE BARE BACK. SO MUCH I DON'T REMEMBER, LIKE HOW DID I GET ON THAT HORSE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

BUT I DID AND OFF WE TROTTED DOWN THE ROAD AND OUT INTO THE OPEN FIELDS. IT WAS HEAVEN TO ME.

MY FRIEND WAS A NATURAL AND I FELT LIKE I HAD MASTERED HORSE RIDING JUST LIKE HER. I DID NOT KNOW WHAT POWER I HAD MOUNTED, AND IT WOULD SOON BE MASTER OF ME.


"I'LL RACE YOU BACK HOME!" MY FRIEND YELLED.

"RACE? !"..."SHE'S GOT TO BE KIDDING!"

THERE I SAT, THE HORSE STILL LAZILY GRAZING ON WILD GRASSES, AND ME DUMB FOUNDED ABOUT WHAT DO I DO TO GET THIS HORSE IN MOTION.


"GIVE HER A KICK JOY, GIVE HER A KICK!"

OK.....HERE WE GO.....MY HEELS CAME DOWN ON BOTH SIDES WITH A HEAVY BLOW. THE HORSE'S HEAD REARED UP IN STARTLED ATTENTION....AND BEFORE I COULD EVEN THINK, SHE WAS OFF LIKE LIGHTNING.



"I'M GOING TO DIE!"...I JUST KNEW I WAS GOING TO DIE.

FEAR GRIPPED MY HEART AS I TRIED TO HOLD ON TO THE HORSES MAIN. THEN MY WHOLE BODY LIFTED UP IN THE AIR AND I CAME DOWN LAYING ACROSS THE HORSES BACK ON MY STOMACH.



I WAS HOLDING ON FOR MY LIFE. ONE HAND ON THE TAIL AND THE OTHER ON THE MAIN.

THE NEXT THING I REMEMBER IS THE HORSE RUNNING UP THE DRIVEWAY WITH ME RIDING BACKWARDS SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS....PULLING ON ITS TAIL, THINKING I COULD COMMAND IT TO STOP.



MY FRIEND WAS LAUGHING SO HARD SHE COULD HARDLY GET HER BREATH.

MY EYES MET WITH THOSE OF HER MOTHER WHO WAS NOT LAUGHING AT ALL. I REMEMBER NO MORE THAN THAT...EXCEPT THAT I NEVER WENT BACK AGAIN.


LORD....SO MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE, I'VE LEFT MY SADDLE ON THE FENCE. YOU HAVE GIVEN US YOUR WORD, YOU HAVE COMMANDED US TO STUDY TO BE APPROVED, RIGHTLY DIVIDING IT. YOU HAVE GIVEN US ARMOR TO USE SKILFULLY IN THE LIVING OF LIFE AND IT'S BATTLES AND CHALLENGES.



IT IS THE SADDLE WITH WHICH WE CAN MOUNT IN FAITH, YOUR POWER THAT EFFECTS THE CALLING TO WHICH YOU APPOINT US.


JUST AS THERE IS A RIGHT WAY TO MOUNT A HORSE. THERE IS A RIGHT WAY TO MOUNT THE WORKS OF FAITH.


ZEAL WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE CAN BE DEADLY TO THE SPIRIT. IT CAN THROW US INTO CONFUSION AND LEAD US SPIRITUALLY OUT OF CONTROL...AND BEING DECIEVED, SPEAKING WORDS OF AUTHORITY UNDER AN ASSUMED NAME THAT FAMILIAR SPIRITS ANSWER NOT TO.




SOMETIMES WE FIND OURSELVES HANGING ON FOR LIFE, FEAR GRIPPING OUR HEARTS AND MINDS, THINKING, THIS WILL KILL THE IMAGE OF SELF I HAVE PORTRAYED. IT IS THAT SELF THAT NEEDS TO DIE.



IF YOU COME UP RIDING YOUR HORSE BACKWARDS....YOU'LL ALWAYS BE LOOKING BACK AND NEVER KNOWING WHERE YOU ARE GOING. SO LIVE, AND LEARN.



TAKE THE SADDLE OFF THE FENCE....LEARN HOW TO PUT IT ON THE HORSE....LEARN HOW TO MOUNT....KNOW YOUR HORSE....FEEL THE POWER....TAKE THE REIGNS....GIVE THE COMMAND....AND "GOOOOOOOOO!



Would like to say here that there are those who ride with the wind bare back. Oh what joy that would be. That's another story for another day."

THE PATIENCE OF PRAYER THAT BELIEVES

LORD... HOW BLESSED I'VE BEEN TO BE UNDER THE ANOINTING OF MY GRANDMOTHER'S ANSWERED PRAYERS...

I CAN REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A VERY YOUNG GIRL...KNEELING BESIDE HER AS SHE CRIED OUT TO YOU FOR THE SAVING OF HER FAMILY...HER CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN...

I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU LORD, JUST LIKE SHE TALKED TO YOU...SHE WAS SO MUCH IN LOVE WITH YOU...AND AT THAT TIME LOVE WAS NOT SOMETHING THAT I KNEW OF...EXCEPT IN GRANDMA...(ALTHOUGH NOW I KNOW THAT I WAS LOVED AS MUCH AS HEARTS COULD LOVE ME...)

IN THE MORNING...I ALWAYS FELT BAD, BECAUSE I COULDN'T STAY AWAKE ON MY KNEES LIKE GRANDMA....SHE'D STILL BE THERE AS THE MORNING SUN SENT IT'S FIRST SUNBEAM THROUGH THE CLOSED CURTAIN, AND LANDED ON HER HEAD AS IF ANOINTED WITH WITH YOUR LIGHT OF LOVING APPROVAL...

WHEN WE WOULD GO TO REVIVAL...SHE'D BE ON HER KNEES, WHEN OTHERS WOULD BE CAUGHT UP IN THE SINGING AND SHOUTING...I SAW HER RAISE HER HANDS IN PRAYER DURING A SERVICE, WITH TEARS ROLLING DOWN HER CHEEKS, OBLIVIOUS TO WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THE SERVICE...I WISH I COULD SAY I INHERITED GRANDMA'S INTERCEDING HEART... I'VE COVETED IT ALL OF MY LIFE...TO NO AVAIL....

BUT YOUR TIMING IS ALWAYS PERFECT, LORD GOD...AND WHAT I MEAN BY THAT IS...YOU'RE NOT 5 FOOT TALL...UNTIL YOU'RE 5 FOOT TALL...I HAD TO GROW IN UNDERSTANDING...I HAD TO MEET YOU LORD, AND FALL IN LOVE...I HAD TO COME TO KNOW YOUR HEART TOWARD THE LOST AND TOWARD THE BRETHREN...AND THAT CAN ONLY BE KNOWN BY BOWING THE KNEE...

THE MORE I SPEND TIME WITH YOU...THE MORE YOUR FELLOWSHIP FILLS THE VERY MOMENTS OF THE DAY...ONE PRAYER MOMENT TO THE NEXT...PRAYER WITHOUT CEASING..YOU WALK WITH ME, AND TALK WITH ME...MY EVERY THOUGHT IS ON YOU...AS I FIX MY EYES ON YOU...

MY EARS BECOME TUNED TO HEAR YOUR VOICE,AND ONLY YOUR VOICE...IT IS THE SOUND OF A DOVE...IT IS THE SOUND OF A LION...IT IS THE SOUND OF A TRUMPET...IT IS THE SOUND OF A SHEPHERD...IT IS THE SOUND OF A GROOM...IT IS THE SOUND OF A LOVING FATHER...

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE COME TO KNOW OVER MANY YEARS...SOMETIMES THERE'S BEEN DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER IT WAS REALLY YOU OR NOT...SOMETIMES THERE WERE PERIODS WHEN YOU WOULDN'T SPEAK AT ALL...AND ALL I HAD WAS YOUR WORD OF PROMISE...AND THE FAITH TO WAIT FOR YOU TO COME FIND YOUR 100TH OUT OF THE NINETY-NINE LOST SHEEP...ACTUALLY YOU NEVER REALLY LEFT MY SIDE...AND NEITHER HAVE GRANDMA'S PRAYERS...

I'VE SEEN HER PRAYERS ANSWERED BY YOU, LONG AFTER SHE YOU CALLED HER HOME...I PRAISE YOU LORD, THAT GRANDMA'S PRAYERS ARE STILL BEING ANSWERED...EVEN BEYOND THE GRAVE...FOR YOU HAVE PROMISED...AND YOU WILL TAKE ALL OF ETERNITY IF THAT'S WHAT'S NEEDED...

LORD ONE OF MY FAVORITE FLOWERS IS THE PANSY...

IT ACTUALLY HAS A FACE...

AND THEY ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE...

JUST THE THOUGHT OF YOU MAKES ME SMILE LORD...

AND I HOPE MY SMILE MAKES THOSE WHO I COME FACE TO FACE WITH SMILE...

YOU HAVE TO BE GLAD...TO SMILE.

AND HERE I SIT WITH AN ACHING HEART...WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE...

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

"BECAUSE FAITH SEES YOUR OUTSTRETCHED ARMS...
AND I RUN TO YOU, KNOWING EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT..."

HOW CAN I NOT PRAISE YOU LORD?...MY SPIRIT SOARS BEFORE YOU...

ALL CONFUSION, FEAR AND DOUBT IS BUT AN EVAPORATING MIST IN YOUR PRESENCE...

THANK YOU LORD THAT I CAN COME INTO THE SOLITUDE OF YOUR SANCTUARY, WHERE THE RULE OF YOUR KINGDOM GIVES ME PEACE...

BE MINISTERED UNTO LORD.. AS THE DEW ON THE EARLY MORNING GRASS...

LET THE SONGS OF MY HEART STRINGS MAKE YOU SMILE.

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE LORD

ONCE AGAIN I HAVE CLOSED A BLOG THAT I HAD STARTED...



I CAN'T SEEM TO GET IT IN MY HEAD THAT I DO NOT HAVE TO BE DOING OR SAYING ANYTHING TO PROVE I LOVE GOD, OR AM PLEASING HIM THROUGH WORDS OR WORKS...OR LOVE THE BRETHREN...




WHAT PLEASES HIM IS THAT OUT OF OBEDIENCE TO THE LEADING OF HIS HOLY SPIRIT, I AM SPEAKING HIS WORD AND DOING WHAT HE HAS CALLED ME TO DO...HE IS MY FELLOWSHIP...



THAT FELLOWSHIP THAT IGNITES THE COMMUNION OF THE BRETHREN...THAT FELLOWSHIP THAT POURS OUT HIS MINISTRY AND EDIFICATION OF THE BELOVED...



ONCE AGAIN I HAVE SPOKEN WHAT I KNOW IN MY HEAD...BUT MY HEART AND SPIRIT SOMEHOW THINKS IT IS NOT ENOUGH.........


NOT ENOUGH FOR HIM?...OR NOT ENOUGH FOR ME?...



I SIT HERE EVEN NOW WONDERING WHY I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO MAKE THAT PERSONAL COVENANT OF COMPLETE AND UTTER SURRENDER...I DESIRE IT WITH ALL OF MY HEART...AT LEAST I THOUGHT I DID...



AND THEN I CAME ACROSS THIS WONDERFUL WORD FROM A BROTHER IN CHRIST.... THAT HAD SOUGHT THE LORD CONCERNING WHAT I HAVE JUST SHARED...IT FOLLOWS....

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You will never appreciate or benefit from fellowship until you have learned to live without it...


There already exists a fellowship of saints...it is a spiritual fellowship and it is based on Christ having the preeminence...not the fellowship having preeminence...


All this yearning for fellowship and being with others is a result from being hung over from the religious system. (not in every case)...the more correct statement would be that we are trying to fill an emptiness in ourselves that even church fellowship didn't fill...


The purpose of solitude in your desert place (your emptiness) is to get you to see that Jesus is ENOUGH...You're certainly not going to die from lack of fellowship...if you don't learn that Jesus is enough, how can you convince anyone else that He is?...



It is this type of thinking that causes confusion of mind and spirit...it is death...KNOWING HIM is LIFE!...he is fullness of joy...He is peace...He is comfort...he is hope and confidence...everything that fills and fulfills a life...drawing that life into fellowship with Him...



He's the One that we need to be focused on...but are we really?....am I really? Or am I trying to start a fellowship of my own...a group or church with another name...? Trying to make something happen with other people...get their lives turned around for the good...so I can feel good about myself...helping God do what I think he needs to do...GOING AHEAD OF HIM, OR TURNING ASIDE TO WHAT OTHERS THINK I SHOULD BE DOING...



I know exactly what you are thinking...I've been there..."you know you're not suppose to forsake the assembling of yourself with others...God made us social beings...God knows we need the encouragement from other believers...we're all parts of the Body of Christ, Right?...you're not suppose to be out there doing your own thing...you need a shepherd...you need the elders...and the help they can give you in wisdom and guidance and prayer and...........



All the above is true...but I want you to know this...God wants YOU TO KNOW if you love Him...or do you love your fellowship with others more?...



This is how far I got in reading this dear brother's post...and I knew I couldn't go any further until I had an answer to this question...actually two questions...


1. Do I know that I can live without the fellowship of other's who know the Lord?...


2. Do I love my fellowshipping...and my spiritual words and works more than waiting on the Lord for His Word, and the work that He sets before me?...



Lord...even as you asked Peter if he loved You....until he cried out, "Lord only you know....I too am coming to You just now and asking you to bring me to pure honesty as to my relationship in You and my relationship in the brethren...


My relationship cannot exist without a covenant relationship with you...a KNOWING OF YOU...




Pour the oil of Holy Spirit on me Lord...even the watering of your Spirit Word...that I may learn of Your interceding heart...and feed your sheep...Show me the Way to your Secret Hiding Place where I can find Your Fellowship that makes me trustworthy for the fellowship of others...for I have somehow lost my way...